construction

The world of construction sucks bad.  Word of the wise, do not attempt to make a career out it unless the person is strong.  It is the hardest thing to do ever.  I recently went and did a construction job outside of Salem, South Carolina to rebuild a boat dock.  A tree had fallen on to it due to a bad storm.  We got hired to come in and rebuild this dock.  Needless to say, we had to cut the tree into several different sections and drag it on to land, then we had to rip the pieces that were broken off of the dock.  Then after that had to put several boards on the dock so that we could lay several twelve by ten boards on to the dock so that we could build the deck.  To top it all off,  we are still not finished.  We still have to put more smaller boards on the dock so that the dock's deck can be completed and then we have to make modifications on the lake house itself.  Now after all that work was completed, i am barely able to move any part of my body due to me being sore.  If any person is interested in construction, think twice  before deciding to go into this field.

I am done!

Lately I am tired.  I am tired of consistently thinking that something right is going to go my way for once. I recall last week saying "Things are looking up." Well i was wrong once again.  When i think i got a chance to connect with someone, that illusion get shattered by a big fucking rock.  Now i am at the mercy of life being right once again and myself having to pay the piper.  Now i am done.  I am done with the bullshit, i am done with trying, i am done with thinking that its gonna work and having all of my hopes and dreams being shattered in front of my eyes. I am tired of being hurt.  If i did not have the morals that i have i could actually seeing myself load the gun and pulling the trigger, but i can not do it.  i just do not have it in my will to end my own life. Now i will find myself not communicating with anyone, making funny jokes, or anything  in that matter.  I will have myself being quiet and never saying another word.  If i do not talk then i can not get hurt anymore.  i vow to never say another thing in my lifetime.